Robert Sternberg’s Theory of Love

Everybody, put up your hands say “I don’t wanna be in love”  ;  ”I don’t wanna be in love”….

—

[Wikipedia Extract]

The triangular theory of love is a theory of love developed by psychologist Robert Sternberg. The theory characterizes love within the context of interpersonal relationships by three different components:

1. Intimacy – Which encompasses feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness.
2. Passion – Which encompasses drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, and sexual consummation.
3. Commitment – Which encompasses, in the short term, the decision to remain with another, and in the long term, the shared achievements and plans made with that other.

The “amount” of love one experiences depends on the absolute strength of these three components; the “type” of love one experiences depends on their strengths relative to each other. Different stages and types of love can be explained as different combinations of these three elements; for example, the relative emphasis of each component changes over time as an adult romantic relationship develops. A relationship based on a single element is less likely to survive than one based on two or three elements.

Forms of love

Combinations of intimacy, passion, and commitment

	Intimacy	Passion	Commitment
Nonlove
Liking/friendship	x
Infatuated love		x
Empty love			x
Romantic love	x	x
Companionate love	x		x
Fatuous love		x	x
Consummate love	x	x	x

 

For English, I have been studying this theory and analyzing situations, deciding if they fall into a certain form of love. 

And it is pretty interesting, really. Upon close inspection I realized that all of us drifts from one form to another from time to time. 

Some promises do not have to be made. We know it perhaps by telepathy, or merely the intimacy and bond people share after having known each other for a long time. Those silent promises that nobody voiced out, are still promises. 

It’s not an obligation, but rather something that we choose to do, regardless of the ever-changing circumstances. 

Maybe I have doubts, and maybe I don’t. What importance is it, anyway?

I have begun to read again, and it feels good. 

 

Somebody tell me what to do with these socks

 Couldn’t resist buying these almost-knee-highs. You have to admit it, they are so lovely.

And then, what?